Storm Watch: The Trott Report-"The Reality of History....a primer for ages 16 to 25"

 
CLICK HERE TO HEAR: StormWatch: The Trott Report-"The Reality of History"

Hello America and thanx for joining us one more time for another 46 minutes of totally enthralling discussion! The topic of this week's show is the about our youth in America (ages 16 to 25) and how their perception of reality is altered and, in some cases, changed by what they learn watching their favorite television shows.  As with most things in popular culture, the shows that target the young demographic have gone through some major changes even compared to 16 years ago when I was just entering this age group.  The reality TV genre in particular has become far more outrageous and provocative as TV audiences become immune to the behaviors exhibited by the cast of the last season.  Even the TV teen drama's have become more akin to adult soap operas with the exception that there is actually more sex in the teen version.  Once again, they are forced to make each successive season more dramatic and outrageous in order to not bore their audience. 
  So what's the problem? The people in that particular age bracket are in the midst of forming their opinions and feelings on what sex, love, marriage, friendship and family are all about and are experimenting with what sort of person they want to be when they are finally full adults.  With these shows (that most of these kids spend hours every day watching) purportedly either "based" on the life of a "teenager" OR a "reality' show (which many confuse as a less boring documentary) they have formed the idea that what they see on television this is how real adults actually act! Little do they know that even the reality shows are set up in such a way as to manufacture an insane amount of drama (experts hired to select certain participants who they know will have conflict) as well as the the obvious point:  NOBODY would ever watch a show about a normal, happy life!
  Anyway, we took a look at the "lessons" being taught by four different shows all popular in the teen / college age groups and how different historical events would have turned out if the people had acted "REAL" like the cast of the show!  I have written a brief version here for your educational enrichment!

American Revolution (Thomas Jefferson and George Washington) / in the style of Real Housewives of the Colonies.

Planning the revoltution and enjoying being the crème della crème of society as a member of the planting elite,  Martha Jefferson was complaining to her husband Thomas about her "frenemy," Martha Washington having more stuff.  Finding no relief from Thomas, she decides to go out with the other plantation wives and get plastered . After a few drinks, the conversation turns towards their husbands, whom they believe are holding out on them. Fueling the fire is the fear that they were only married for their lineages and because there are no single men in politics. Ten minutes into their opining, Mrs. Washington slurs : "Maybe if I wore some more lead face powder or  a new corset is what I need. If my bosom looked a bit younger George's eye may not be tempted to stray."  Thomas Jefferson's wife agrees with her rival and adds that perhaps she too might benefit from such a device.
While overhearing the women's increasingly obnoxious and slurred conversation , a young British Soldier approaches Mrs. Washington saying "Surely you do not need a corset to appear younger. You look as young as a blushing maiden."
Mrs. Jefferson is now livid at her frenemy, Mrs.Washington, has recieved such a compliment when SHE is the more attractive lady (and everyone knows it)
Inebriated and seeing red, Martha Jefferson takes to colonial facebook and writes in her status "Thank god I am not fake like certain general's wives and need the attention of all the king's men to make me feel beautiful."

Of course, this provokes a internet facebook fight which, eventually, spirals out of control. It gets so bad that the husbands were eventually forced to get involved. Thomas and George get together to make sure that what is going on with the wives is not affecting their political friendship, after all, these were JUST women.
 George tells Tom: "All you have to worry about is your wife's perpetually running mouth. I'm the one with the real problem. I have to keep an eye more closely on my wife since she is so beautiful that men are constantly approaching her, trying to get inside her bussel"
After hearing his wife called ugly by this balding wig-wearing weakling. Thomas punches George in the mouth, knocking out most of his teeth (which a judge eventually made him replace....which he did.....with cheap wooden ones). George is so infuriated that he announces to Tom "If I ever see you or any British Soldier again it will be the death of you both!"

Tom runs to the British Soldier to warn him, who in turn goes to his superior officer about the threat. The British army then conducts an investigation which leads to George Washington's arrest for treason against the Crown, after the investigation turns up more than just a couple of threats.  This derails the revolution and is the reason we are all Englishmen today.

Civil War (Abe Lincoln and Jefferson Davis)/ in the style of Jersey Shore .

Davis is at a party when he notices the group of women around Abe . They are fawning over him and he can hear them saying to him something about the meaning of having big feet , you know what that means. Davis is mad because he is getting NO action and doesn’t know what having big feet would mean since his feet are slightly smaller than the average size. So Davis continues to drink heavily because there is no one talking to him to distract him. When he gets home he is absolutely plastered and says he’s so upset because a) they're in Richmond and NO ONE comes to HIS city and steals all the action. AND He knows Mary-Todd and she is like a “sister” to him and NO ONE messes with a Southerner’s sister because Abe is obviously “cheating” on her. Drunk at home later that night, he takes to face book and writes in his status : “What a poser ass loser. That fake s**t might fly up north or in Illinois but NOT here. You in da dirrrty SOUTH mofo! You best stay home with your wife yankee cause you hurt her you gots ME to deal with and I do it DIXIE.” He then fist pumps and passes out mid pump.
.
Abe gets home and sees he has a million messages from friends who saw Davis’ post and responded in Abe’s protection. Abe responds: (read the picture text)

Eventually, Davis sobers up to see the flood of messages their little exchange generated.: Yo Dave, Florida got ur back, u tell dat fool we don’t play that here in the “F’. “L-Woww: just say da word and this DJ will get his Deleware boys and the big”D” will go south to teach those cousin lovers a lesson. Sick of all the messages that Davis kept sending to Lincoln in order to look tough in front of the homies, Lincoln put him on “ignore.” Davis did find this to be weak sauce so he had a homie from Jersey send Mary-Todd a picture of himself naked wearing a top hat and the confederate flag painted on his penis. What really irritated Honest Abe was the way the man was fist-pumping, which at that time was considered quite annoying and an indicator of someone having low intelligence.

The fighting finally kicked off when one of Davis’ supporters, in a drunken argument at a bar that straddled the Mason-Dixon line, used the “n” word and then argued that “it’s cool, my best friend’s black and he doesn’t mind when I say it. I’d DIE for all my Black Homies…” The ensuing bar fight eventually spread and all the states…..whose reps were totally drunk and jumped in as to not look weak. The whole thing was over after 4 minute and ended with the two men crying together, arm and arm and swearing to be friends for life.
　

World War II stateside (Rosie the Riveter and her crew)/ in the style of Bad Girls Club

All the men leave the country to go off to war leaving only the women and the men who were unfit for service either due to age, physical qualities or conscientious objection. Rosie calls a meeting of all her other girlfriends in order to band together and decide how they were going to keep things going in their respective households while their men were away. It was decided their that they were to take over the jobs and roles formerly held by the men and they agreed to meet in a few days, using the time to secure semi-permanent childcare.
At the next meeting, a few of the ladies had taken up drinking and smoking and, not wanting to be left out the other ones followed suit. They all agreed to learn all that they could about the men’s jobs and to go out and do them since there were not enough men to do them. Soon, their meeting became nightly and the drinking increased. Eventually, they started to form niches and cliques depending on what positions they held in the factory.
One night, Rosie, who had been drinking ever since she had gotten off work,had picked a fight with one of the smaller girls as she had cut her off mid-sentence while Rosie was rambling on about how horny she was and how if Uncle Sam took her husband the least he could do is to come sleep with her! Rosie started howling about how NO ONE disrespects her and promptly grabbed the girl by the hair and drew her in towards a half strength face slap. She then stopped there almost in a freeze frame while she waited for all of her friends to come and hold her back. Once she was firmly restrained, she went ballistic, swinging in the air and saying every curse word in the book whilst the smaller girl started spitting every drop of saliva she could muster.
The next morning when they awoke the house was in shambles and the house had been divided. Rosie and all of her assembly line workers were in one clique and all of the managerial / office staff were in the other dubbed the “princesses.” All across the country, the female workforce of every factory was filled with these same two drunken, fighting and promiscuous groups of women. After work, they would all go out to the bars but ended up getting thrown out.
Every so often, a visiting platoon of soldiers or sailors would be in town and at the local bars. The girls spent most of the time they weren’t drinking either talking about their horniness or comparing (and often stealing from each other) certain battery operated “massage wands” The girls would con the men into buying them drinks and dinner by making out with each other and lifting up their skirts or shirts to expose themselves.
One night, Rosie had a bit too much to drink and pissed off a member of her clique “the riveters” and they meted out some face slapping punishment. Lucky for her, a few of the princesses came to her aid and consoled her once things cooled down. There was then a change in alliances as she joined them and the riveters found a new leader.

This same scene occurred again and again all over the country, until there were so many alliances made and broken that no one trusted anyone else.
When the war ended and the men came home. ALL of their wives were either: pregnant, had STD’s, had kids the husband was sure weren’t there when he left, scars and bruises and all had raging alcohol problems. They were so upset that most ended up divorcing their spouses and instead of a baby BOOM, we had a substantial cooling of marriages and childbirths.

The Sixties White House (John F. Kennedy and Marilyn Monroe)/ in the style of Secret Life Of The American Teenager

Marilyn texts JFK: “U Free?”.
She gets a text back “Busy. Tomorrow 2pm. Usual place.”
Feeling frustrated, Marilyn flips on the TV then scrolls through her contacts to see who she can call for a fun night.

The next day at 2pm at their usual place.

JFK: I stopped by your house last night but I saw through your window that you were busy. Who was that? And what’s the point of me trying to make this work if you’re gonna be screwing other guys?
Marilyn: Who do you think you are?! You tell me that you want to me to be committed to you, and the whole time your sleeping with Jackie! Why should I be faithful when you aren’t?
JFK: You know I have to keep up appearances, plus I have to treat Jackie right. She is the mother of my children.
Marilyn: You won’t let me be anything to you but a night of great sex! If she hadn’t been so stupid to get pregnant in the first place, we could be together now! Hasn’t she ever heard of birth control?
JFK: You are all I think about when I’m not with you. My job is suffering because I’m thinking of you too much. But if you want me to put your needs in front of my kids needs, you have to understand, that’s just not going to happen.
Marilyn: I just wish we could go out sometimes. I’m left alone here, missing you, then I see you at dinner with her. It makes me sick and makes me want a distraction. A distraction that is grateful for the chance to spend some time with me.” .
JFK: Well, we will be together on my birthday. Jackie wont be there and I’m making sure that there are no pictures taken. So it will kind of be like we are out together.
Marilyn: Well, you’d better start treating me better. Or else you might just have me pop up at some big event that you are at. Wouldn’t Jackie love to see me at a dinner, or a fundraiser, or a parade.
JFK: Marilyn, you wouldn’t.
Marilyn: You never know what I’d do to keep you.

At this point JFK realizes that this woman may in fact be a little obsessive and crazy so he decides that he really has to quit seeing her as he has finally decided that he wants to do right by his family. Marilyn is upset about this and sends Jackie an anonymous face book message telling her that she needs to attend JFK’s birthday party but to stay hidden in the back because she is to pop out at the end as a surprise to him.
When Marilyn is singing “Happy Birthday Mister President”, Jackie sees the way the two are looking at each other and gets enraged. She takes one of the bodyguard’s guns and fires three shots. Two hit Marilyn and one hit’s the President. Marilyn is killed instantly, the President was shot in his left testicle after standing to try to stop his wife in her murderous rage.
Since emotions are all controlling and every action one takes for love is justifiable Jackie is acquitted due to temporary insanity and the President is forced to resign, as he must enter the witness protection program since Jackie threatened to take the other “Boston baked bean as well as the Frank.”
With the President in hiding and Johnson not too big on the space program we never did go to the moon. Johnson, having an eye for the occasional lady who wasn’t his wife, spent all the Apollo money developing a bulletproof jock-strap and cup. To this day, many say that President Kennedy is being housed in a secret bunker (possibly on the moon).

PHEW!!!!   OK and as promised.....Here is the photo of my tattoo:

The artist (Bruce...The younger one as I believe they are BOTH named Bruce) was totally cool with my nerdy personality and the whining nervosness that comes when  a guy sits down for his first REAL tattoo (that one on my butt is too small to count.) I am also amazed at his talent as well as the drawing I gave him to go off of was so bad I couldn't even tell what it was!  He was very patient and walked me through the design process and before I knew it I had some killer ink!  If you've ever considered a tattoo but have been nervous about or intimidated about the idea / stereotype of what you think a tattoo parlor is then I encourage you to come on down!  The environment was so pleasant that we are bringing my grandmother to watch Storm and I get our second ones!  The shop is located at 93 S. Maine Street. Fallon Nv, 89406. (775) 423-2250. Visit their Facebook site by searching for them on my facebook profile or CLICK HERE

-TMAXX